Fifteen months of hell is nearly over - yahoo! It's a good time of year for a reunion too, it's warming up and flowers are coming, time to start gardening and all that nice stuff. This blog will end soon - I plan to post two or three time post reunion but thats it. Then on to my regularly scheduled wonderful life!

Swimming and Count Downs

My daughter's first swim lesson for this year was this past Saturday. She LOVED it, and so did I! I can't wait to go back next week. We switched to a pool that is much warmer and it's so much nicer to be not freezing while in the pool!

Count Down is nearly on... we're down to less than two weeks! I am not going to start counting until the last week because not only do I not like long count downs, but I don't want my daughter to loose interest in the count down, and if it's too long I'm sure she will.

Its one of those days

Those "do I want us to remain a military family" days. I am so sick and so tired of living life with no family, no close friends because we move so often, and a huge lack of support from the military. I long for my life back in our old big city, where we had lots of close friends, some family, and respectful employers who valued that we worked long, hard hours. So far removed from the life we now live. I have to say, the military is by far the worst employer I have ever encountered. I wonder why so many families stick with it? Is it their committment to serving, even if it means their life becomes a living hell? Is it because they know no different? Is it because they are happy living this life? Or are there many other unhappy spouses out there - not unhappy with their spouse, but unhappy with their spouses employer, who just learn to put up with it somehow?

I'm not posting nearly enough! Part of me thinks since there is only five weeks left that the deployment is basically over and in no time my husband will be back home! Plus my work has been keeping me crazy busy so that last thing I want to do when I get home is log onto the computer and think!

Since my husband has been away so long I find myself doing nothing but what I need to do to have my daughter and I survive. I get up, get dressed, get daughter dressed, give her a big glass of milk then put on our outer wear, grab my lunch and snacks then walk to daycare and work. Then I eat my breakfast at work, work out on my lunch hour, eat my lunch at work then head to daycare, pick my daughter up, walk home (picking up milk on the way if need be) then home to scrounge together supper. Supper is not always nutricious but it's food. When my husband gets home I will concentrate on normal healthy meals, but for now it's sheer survival.

God, I will be so thankful when this deployment is over.

People who can't get their shit together irritate me.

Since my husband joined the reg force just under five years ago, we have been outright lied to, complained about such lies and, even with proof was told no discipline would be instilled upon said employee. The latest thing to really get my goat is trying to arrange a video conference with my husband who is over in Afghanistan.

As per policy, my husband booked the time for us to do the conference. We tried EVERY thing possible to get a ride to the MFRC as I live off base and no bus goes to the MFRC (it goes close, but just TRY pushing a stroller through the 3" of wet snow that remains uncleared from the sidewalks the whole distance!). The MFRC, the FSS, the DSU and my husbands home unit could/would not help. So I had to rent a car, not the cheapest thing to do but cheaper to rent a car for a day than take a taxi back and forth. And since I should not be driving, I had to take some pretty heavy duty drugs to prevent a serious side effect of my medical condition in order for me to drive safely.

I show up Saturday morning and the Video Conference machine isn't working. We're not sure who's end it's on so after an hour we find out (via my husband phoning my cell phone which is pay per minute) it may be on their end, although we did have a storm here that night so it could be on our end as well. Being a weekend no one in Ottawa was answering.

Turns out Ottawa had entered the WRONG code for the video connection between our local MFRC and where my husband is in the Sandbox. So we still don't know if it was the wrong number or if was a result of the storm(s).

So the video conference was rescheduled (via email) to Sunday morning 10:30 am local time.

The person in the Sandbox arranging this actually typed my first name wrong and therefore I did not get the email from her (who on earth spells Katherine Kathereine?!). My husband asked and double asked her to recheck the email addresses, so obviously she didn't. Luckily my husband caught it and (two hours before the video conference was to happen) forwarded the email to me.

So, I get my daughter ready yet AGAIN, stressing out over being late because, well, she *IS* a two year old and fights me every step of the way to get ready in the morning.

We show up at 10:15 am for a 10:30 conference. The MFRC is locked. So we wait. and wait. and wait until my husband phones my cell asking where we are. At this point I am SO pissed off at the number of errors that continually happen in the military. What is up with staff not double checking simple things WHEN ASKED? I work in Healthcare and if I did half the number of stupid errors I've seen happen I would be out of a job. Or people would be dead. Mistakes happen, but when asked to double check something and you don't, that person should get in serious trouble. But that will never happen.

While I was on the phone with my husband this morning, I told him it's time we seriously talk about him releasing from the military. I am so tired of being treated like shit. I have never worked in an environment that is so vile towards family members, and I do not plan on continuing to have to put up with it for the next twenty some years.

The countdown is on!

Less than two weeks until we see my husband for his hlta!! I'm starting to get excited. The not so funny thing is I hate flying, absolutely hate it. I hate airports and I am scared of flying which makes it double trouble. I fly because there's no realistic way to get anywhere without it, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it one bit. At least this flight is for a very worthwhile cause :)

Today I went for lunch with the person who I will be replacing at my new job, and we decided my start date will be March 1st. This will leave me a week after I get back from hlta to get some stuff done that always seems to get pushed aside, and will leave me some time to veg out and read and relax... looking forward to that!

MICE - yes, I typed mice. We have mice in the house. Our dear old cats of 18 years passed away just over a year ago, and so the mice have decided now it's safe to move in. I can NOT catch mice, I have tried every suggestion and every trap you can think of with ZERO results. Thank goodness for my roomate who showed me that I was indeed setting the "snap" traps up improperly, which essentially meant I was merely feeding the mice. No wonder they don't want to leave. So, after two days of the properly set up snap traps, today we caught a mouse. A SMALL mouse - which means, most likely, a younger mouse from a litter that has hatched recently :( So, off to the store tomorrow to pick up more mouse traps!

What are you lonely for?

I was asked this question (online) and it's an interesting question. My answer:

I just want one or two friends who are close and I can count on for times I need someone to talk with or go to the mall or go for coffee with. Friends who are reliable. I find most people very unreliable, and thats difficult for me to take. I'm a military spouse which makes it difficult since I have no family (and I mean absolutely NO one) around me and what family I do have has lost contact with me over the years. It's a very lonely, isolated life. Plus the military takes my husband away from me for months, sometimes years at a time, and we live off base (rent is TOO expensive for base housing in Canada, it's cheaper to have a mortgage!) which makes it really difficult to access any resources on base. It's depressing just thinking about it.

Sounds a bit depressing, I know, but it's an honest answer. It will be interesting to see how different I feel once my husband is home from this latest deployment.

Thank God Christmas is over and Boxing Day is nearly done. This has been the crappiest Holidays ever, with not having my husband or family here. My toddler and I spent the day alone, like any other day except for unwrapping presents and playing with the toys. No special meal at home, although we did go to the church up the street for a meal which was nice, but no where near as nice as having a meal with family and friends.

I'm totally in a downer mood and bummed out once again by my husband being in the military. Luckily I have some trashy MC Beaton novels to read and they are showing Frank Capra movies on Time Warner Classics. I have never watched Arsenic and Old Lace but I know it's a great albeit morbid comedy, so I have it recording this evening and hope to watch it over the next day or two. I really enjoy watching It's a Wonderful Life and Mr Smith goes to Washington, so I'm sure most of Capra's movies are hits. I'm hoping to see Pocketful of Miracles and perhaps Platinum Blonde or Lady for a Day... so many to choose from!

I read my blog today. Luckily it's still short enough I can do that fairly easily. There is one thing I need to update, and that is my husband is away for a total of fifteen months (not fourteen - but hey, whats one month eh?), and WILL miss my daughters third birthday! I'm debating on just sliding the date back a month since she is only turning three and is young enough she won't know the difference. Ethical? In some ways no, in many ways, YES!

I requested a Christmas Hamper from the military. I request one every year now I know they have this service, and it's been so wonderful this year with my husband being away. It makes me feel a wee more festive - and anything to make me feel festive is "a good thing". There are some wonderful toys for Sarah and a few very nice Safeway gift cards for me to do some holiday shopping.

Ethical Dilemma

So I have an ethical dilemma. We have a room for rent at the moment - I find having a house mate helps while my husband is away. It makes me feel a little more secure, knowing there is some one else in the house besides me and my young daughter.

So, I advertised the room and had a few no shows, then had an email from a fellow in the US who will is doing a double major (poly sci and geography... go figure!) and needs a place to stay for a few months. We talked on the phone and I said he needs to mail me a cheque for a deposit. He probably already mailed the cheque, but since I haven't received it yet I left the ad up for others to reply.

This evening I get two phone calls from doctors who are taking a one year program where I work (I work at a hospital). One fellow is from Vancouver, so there is a connection there (my husband and I are from Vancouver). The other lady is from Toronto. Both are coming by to look at the house, both are interested for one year.

So, my ethical delimma is two fold, one, we may end up getting a posting message saying we're moving this summer, which would lead me to pick the guy from the US as he would only need the room until late Spring. Then again, if we don't get posted it would be nice to have the room rented out for a full year, and to someone who will be going to the same place every day as me.

Decisions, decisions!

Humbug

I'm feeling a bit "humbug" today. I'm not overly upset that it will just be me and my daughter this Christmas, but I do miss my husband so it's tough not to be a little down. There's a local church putting on a holiday feast a few days before Christmas, so I plan to go with my daughter. It will be nice to be around people. Plus next Wednesday there is a deployment support meeting at yummy local dessert place so I definately plan to go! Luckily I was able to get a sitter!

I'm taking a distance education class at the local university, and last night I wrote a test. My mark wasn't great I'm sure because I haven't had the time to study much other than the last two respite periods. My final exam is coming up in mid December so hopefully I can do more studying and boost my mark!

And to finish my post off, good news! I lost three pounds over the past week - yahoo! Now let's have that cheesecake :)

Seemingly never ending roller coaster

It's the respite roller coaster - and it's over three years long! Long story short, my local family support centre refuses to help me because we live off base, I do not drive, and the city transit does not go to the base so I can't access the deployment respite they offer. They say they don't have the budget to hire a sitter for me, or for pay for a cab ride to the base and back... and they don't want to give me a ride either. So, it seems I am SOL because I have a S family centre here!

I even approached the FSS (Family Support Section) in Edmonton asking if they could help (we live in Winnipeg) and another long story short, they can't because we're in Winnipeg and must receive service from Winnipeg. Too bad service in Winnipeg means f-you.

So, another long deployment (14 months) without support from the military. Sometimes I wonder why I haven't gone insane yet, or if I am insane and simply am too insane to realize that I'm insane. Or perhaps I must be insane to have stuck with this crap for this long!?